Mr. Roper asks if Ramsey wants to take it outside.

Yesterday I was driving up my hill and came up on TriMoving/Core Hawaii's cycling group. They loop around on my street a couple of evenings per week. There were parked cars on either side of the road, leaving room for one-way traffic. And there were cyclists heading up the hill, and cyclists coming back down the hill, all in that one lane.

Now, if I were a cyclist-hating asshole, I might have tried to squeeze my way through. But I followed the last guy up slowly, as he used most of the road to cut back and forth. I rode by some friends waiting at the top and they asked if I was the RR Sag Wagon. I waved to 4 or 5 people, all the while rolling along, then noticed that a man was trying to drive through me. I turned up the really steep hill with just a few cyclists coming down, just as he tried to go around me - and into them. He saw them in time, but just barely. Now we're going straight uphill on a 15 mph street. He starts honking and trying to pass me, but there's nowhere to go. Stuck behind me, he's flailing his arms like mad and so close I can see his mouth foaming. I'm going the speed limit. Then he lays on the horn. He honks the whole way up our quiet road, foam flying, muttering and so close I still can't believe he hasn't hit me yet.

I debate driving right by my house so he won't know where I live, but it's a dead end and I've nowhere to go. And the guy is old as dirt so I could probably take him. I open the garage, roll up the windows, lock the doors and start honking, like the cowardly wife I am. He blocks me in and comes flying out of his car faster than he's likely moved in a decade. Ramsey comes out as he is yelling at my window. I get out and it goes like this:

Me: Stop spitting on me and get-the-something out of my garage.

Old Angry Guy: I'm not in your garage (he is) and you should have gone around the cyclists!

Me: I was driving safely so as not to hit anyone. It's called the speed limit.

OAG: You should have gotten out of my way!

Ramsey's quick to take over & he starts screaming at Ramsey that HE IS IN A HURRY! To which Ramsey calmly replies Then why are you standing here in my driveway? Ramsey repeatedly tells OAG to go home, until the man asks if HE'S GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!?

This is Ramsey. He's finishing his first triathlon. I am half-amazon and at times the man outweighs me by 75 pounds. He makes me feel small. And his horns are a little scary.

And this is the moron that wanted to fight him:

I think Ramsey snorted. And evil Mr. Roper didn't leave until we wrote down his license number and brought out the phone. He probably went home and kicked his dog.

The moral of my long boring story: Don't be an evil old Mr. Roper who picks fights with guys half your age and twice your size and tries to run over cyclists. And stay away from the spitter in the brown camry - JYA 637 is a real jerk.