Help for those in Time-Out.

I've found heaps of helpful information on the web about treating my IT band, but next to nothing on ways occupy myself while waiting for any of it to work. There seems to be a void in webland that needs to be filled, so I thought I would share some ideas to fill the empty training hours. 

1. Watch one of the best movies ever, Rushmore, for the 186th time. Try not to pee when Bill Murray runs over Max's bike. Say "O R you?" to your spouse for a day or two after.

2. Make suits with Splish's custom site. Then find one that someone else already made that is better. I need this. Jen H, you may need it too. I take no credit, someone named Alex made it:

3. Install power tap software on every computer you have access to. Even the local library. When all refuse to find the attached power tap, sell it on craigslist to fund the swimwear habit.

4. Throw apple core out the car window at the gazelle-like runners on Kal Highway because they look so damn happy. (I didn't really do it, but I may have thought it. I had nowhere else to put it.)

5. Spell mean things with the refrigerator alphabet magnets to try to stir up the already volatile relationship between the six and eight year old. Misspell so they won't suspect anything.

6. Play with the youtube. Try to make like a swimmer and watch the Thorpedo in slow motion a few times. Watch the psycho divorcee lady. Then see a good one about cyclists:

   

7. Try mind over matter. Embrace your down time. Take off all your clothes, get out your barbie and your coloring books, and just unwind..

PS - I didn't write that on the fridge. I just found it there. Please don't call CPS on me.

PPS - Next time, I promise to write something useful and triathlon related and even serious. Bear with me here. I really, really need to go for a nice long run.

Triathlon Accomplishments

2007 highlights:

1st overall Lanikai Triathlon

1st overall  Strongman Japan

1st 30-34  Hawaii 70.3

1st 30-34  Age Group National Championships

1st overall North Shore Triathlon

1st elite amateur Chicago Accenture Triathlon

1st overall Na Wahine Sprint Triathlon

1st 30-34 Ironman World Championships (9:56:21)

5th 30-34 70.3 World Championships 

19th overall Honolulu Marathon

2006 highlights:

3:04 Boston Marathon PR

2nd overall Hawaii 70.3

1st overall Honolulu Triathlon

1st overall North Shore Triathlon

1st overall Tinman Triathlon

1st 30-34 Ironman World Championships

2005 highlights:

Completed my first triathlon :)

Incident

There was an incident at the skate park today. The leg formerly known as my good leg is now less good. And an important lesson was learned: Mom can't ollie like mom could ollie in fourth grade.

I have started taking the kids to the skate park on the way to school in the morning, before the big kids (read: unemployed adults who drink and smoke at the skate park all day) get out of bed. Sky, in her plastic princess kitten heels, likes to ride down on her butt, legs sticking straight out. There was a minor wardrobe malfunction today when I realized she had skipped those unnecessary panties. Luckily I carry back up. Henry and Wyatt are staying upright, most of the time. And I've decided that I should not attempt to teach them anything skating related ever again. That will be dad's domain. Most of my semi-recent skating was drunken, not all that skillful, helmet-free, and down the middle of the Berkeley streets.. I'm talking about college people, not fourth grade anymore, but either way, I am probably not the best mentor. 

There is a keiki triathlon here this weekend. I've tried every bribe in my arsenal, but no one is biting. I am handing out the medals at the finish line, and will bring the gang along to watch.. and hopefully inspire.

Recovery Weekend Challenge

I've never recovered like this before. Last year I took a few days off after Kona.. but this time I'm under strict orders to consider Paul my AA sponsor and call if I get the urge to run.  So this weekend, Lazyass Weekend Number Two,  has been one of new challenges, including:

- Staying home with the kidlets while husband runs. Which included watching the latest Barbie movie, Mariposa Barbie. I now feel entirely inadequate. My neck is six inches too short, my legs are not long enough.. and don't get me started about my chest.

- Trying to hide psyllium fiber in the kids' pancakes. All pancakes were returned for "tasting stinky." The OJ was also returned, stinky by association, making me a Sunday breakfast failure. 

- Making own coffee, instead of stopping at Starbucks for a soy latte on the way to group ride/run. Then trying to believe that the homemade coffee was as good even though it tasted like dirt.

- Keeping up with the little league moms at the post-game potluck, because what did I have to do the next morning? DNF'd when they cracked the fourth Coors Light.

Pictures of the aforementioned Barbie-warped kidlets - as they have not yet graced the blog.

<---- Henry showing off some... umm.. moves?

Sky at her Mayday show: 

Wyatt, the lovebug, 

gearing up for the cub scouts parade.

This just in..

Fran Arfaras is such a nice lady.. here's my age grouper profile for this year on ironman.com

I think Advil should put me on the payroll.

Tinkering.

I have been playing with Clementine. I am not allowed to ride, but I can tinker! I am convinced that the IT band that has rendered me useless is angry about my bike position. ELF suggests I rub beer on it for a while then try to sweet talk it into spinning.. that might be the next step. Since Arizona, I have been on the bike once, for about 23 seconds, until realizing it was physically impossible to spin a full pedal rotation. I just wanted a smidgen of data for the new power tap, but it was not meant to be.  So with too much time and energy on my hands, my excellent bike maintenance skills and I just stripped the screw on the seat post, so hopefully that's the right seat height. Forever. 

I am facing at least a month of recovery time. I wore my running shoes to work today because I missed them. This fashion faux pas is a clear indicator of the mental instability 10 days of recovery bring. But really, I was already wearing a mini skirt made for someone 15 years younger than me, so what did I have to lose? I did not, for the record, wear compression socks to complete the fashion crisis. Henry pretended not to know me when I showed up at school to pick him up. By the third week of recovery I might be picking him up in my aero helmet.

Because hawaii training photos have already been requested, and I have no actual training to talk about, here's a very staged one, taken by the awesome Joss, whose photos you see in Title Nine and Patagonia.. that's January on the West Side... 

Is this thing on?

It's become a routine. Turn on computer. Find a bag of ice. Put ice on sore part. Log on, read tri blogs. See what Wee is up to over in Kona. Wish for a while I was as cute as Wee. Vow to not eat sugar ever again. Move ice. Laugh out loud at Fedofsky's wicked sense of humor somewhere near Chicago. Tell children to make their own waffles. See what Paul has lined up for me today and contemplate how on earth I will find time. See if any Timexers have anything to say. Try to understand Paulo's rocket-scientist speak. Make coffee and fill with sugar, because the no sugar diet lasts about 15 minutes here, until coffee or I spot the last surviving peanut m&m from last night's family movie night. Break up war over who gets first waffles. Make the 8 year old child oats, because he says that processed food is not too good for him. Forget about ice and come back to a puddle dangerously near the computer. Check work email. Then click on Bree's friends. Who are now my friends, in some weird way, because they have never heard of me but I know what they had for breakfast yesterday and how their long run felt and the name of their cat. Ahh, the weird world of blogs. I'm in. I thought you might want to know what I had for breakfast (coffee and a peanut m&m) and I hope I'll feel like less of a stalker if I'm actually putting personal info on the web for strangers to read instead of just, well, stalking.

And because blogs are prettier with pictures - here is me on my new bike at IM AZ. It's a Trek TTX 9.9 SSL. I don't know what any of that stands for. But I do know that Trek painted them orange for us. My kids want to name it Cheeto. I like Clementine. I think this is when I was still paying attention and not pretending I was in a spaghetti western while singing "Horse With No Name" over and over. (race report here) Hard to say for sure though: 

Ironman Arizona - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

I kept hearing the music from this movie out on the bike course… 

The Good:

A new swim PR. In November I started swimming 4x/week, doubling my time in the water. I almost died from the boredom. It paid - took 5 minutes off my time and was out of Tempe Town Lake in 58:43. At the start Maggs and I jumped off the dock holding hands like total dorks. She swam smack into the bridge warming up, winning the dorkier award by a smidgen. It was chilly, and boys were mean to me and aggressively stole my draft until I gave up and swam it alone. It was a pleasant surprise to be told by a T1 volunteer that I was a top 10 amateur out of the water. He was likely lying, but don’t check the results and tell me, I don’t want to know.

The Bad:

The first loop was good. New scenery. Big saguaros like you see in spaghetti westerns. Wind, excitement, that scary disk noise coming from me.. I was thinking 1:45/loop would put me where I wanted to be. My HR was right where the coach said it should be. 1:45 exactly and I was back in town and saw both my parents. Then I had to turn around and go again.. which was fine, but the saguaros were not as exciting the second time around. The wind made me grumpy. My shorts were not cooperating. A bee tried to fly into my mouth. The tailwind on the ride home was nice, but the loop was 7 minutes slower. And don’t be fooled by that word “loop” we really just go out and back, over and over. Loop three was bad, and not in the Michael Jackson way. My HR was low. My shorts were still not cooperating. I was looking for a reason to do a 5+ hour ride and not finding one. My teammate Juli flew by a mile or two out of transition and looked so strong it was inspiring. We exchanged pleasantries in T2 while forgetting to put on our compression socks. She went on to win W35-39 because she is awesome. I finished in 5:29, a new personal worst, and told the nice volunteer they could have my bike forever.

The Ugly:

The run, my favorite part! Except there was this funny time warp going on. I was running 7 minute effort, but 8 minute miles were coming out. My heart rate was 20 beats too low. I have a plethora of excuses: my IT band insertion thingamajig, I ate too much on the bike, I ate too little on the bike, it was hot, I only ate 200 cals on the run, the world hates me, it was karma for running over that endangered endemic bird last week, I am a pansy.. pick which ever you like. It was the most difficult marathon of my life. Running past transition six times gave me six chances to use one of those excuses to quit. But my knee didn’t hurt, so I kept running. The marathon was 3:30.. another PW. I could make the report longer with more details - but instead I think I will sum it all up with: That course kicked my ass.

I finished in 10:03, right smack in the middle of my two previous IM times. BUT - it was good enough for 9th place among the women, making it my highest IM placing ever, which cheered me up almost as much as the giant burrito my dad had waiting..

I forgot a camera, so here’s what I’ve got: