Confidence from a leopard print carseat

From the backseat of the wagon yesterday comes a little voice:

Sky: I am the fastest runner in the whole world.

Ramsey: Really? Do you want to race your mom?

Sky: OK. I will race you........ of course, I know I will win.

Me: You do, do you?

Sky: Yes. Because I am the fastest runner in the whole entire world.

I love the confidence of my four year old. Can you imagine lining up at a race and declaring to the athletes around you "Of course, I know I will win, because I am the fastest in the whole entire world?" There are some men I know that might say it, but not many women would talk that big.

In the NBC broadcast of Kona 2007 Leanda Cave said "I will win this race someday." I believe her, and I also admire that she said it for all the world to hear.

I read somewhere that women are likely to downplay their abilities and men likely to downplay doubt. Other female athletes have talked about the fear that many of us have of sounding cocky and how it keeps us from stating our goals. Coach Paul has told me many times take credit for an achievement, to own it. When I make excuses in response to a compliment he says, "Rachel, say thank you." After Katherine dominated the amateur race at Hawaii 70.3 a few weeks ago, I heard him stop her as she responded to a congratulations with a list of things downplaying her performance: "Katherine, say thank you."

Lately my confidence has wavered. The first time I did Ironman, Kona 2006, I wasn't confident that I could finish. I had done my first half just four months prior and found it incredibly difficult. The second one, Kona 2007, I lined up confident that I would finish, but unsure that I could do as well as or better than the first one. While I don't always have confidence that I will perform (I truly believe there is a little luck involved in racing well) I always believed in my health and my body's abilities. This year has tested my faith in my body. I haven't missed races for an injury before, but this season I have missed every single local race. It has been six months of intermittent injury, with more time hurt than not. I raced another Ironman, and went slower than before. I didn't book a room at Kona, or a car, and I began to wonder if I would even make it to the starting line this October.

Sky's statement was the kick in the pants I needed to change my outlook. I have four months. I will continue to search for the cause of my injury so that I can fix it permanently. I will listen to my gut instead of my Coach or Therapist when I know my body is not yet ready. I will be healthy in time to train for Kona. I will race healthy. And I will do it faster than last year.