Saturday came and I was off to an early start in the borrowed Suburban. I drove through three towns in a row that did not have Starbucks. I followed Jen's perfect directions to Lake in the Hills. Take 47 to 72 to 59 or something. I kept thinking: turn left at the corner of soy and corn, just past the red barn.
The race was two mile-long laps. I use the word mile loosely, as in, there is no freaking way that was just two miles. It had better have been long, or else I quit. It was a nice little race and it was fun to see Jen H, Liz & Chris. Jen is the only one in this picture whose smile is genuine, because she's the only one looking forward to swimming. Liz and I are smiling through our dread. Contrary to what Liz says on her blog, I was not trying to talk people out of swimming. I was merely suggesting other options. Like fun things we could do.
The scarring came later in the day. I went out to run at 6 pm at a park in Yorkville that my mom recommended. Nice wide, smooth trails.. perfect for my first double-digits run in months. I made my way along the shore of some river for the first 20 minutes. Let me stop here to say that I am not all that into porn. And were I into porn, I would probably not be into outside in broad daylight on the asphalt buck naked white skin everywhere morbid obesity porn. But today, it seems, was not my lucky day. I came out of the woods and there it was. Ten feet in front of me. At least 600 pounds of naked human doing it in the parking lot. On the asphalt. Children were fishing 100 yards back, just around the bend. In the split second that my eyes were open and I was realizing what it was I was seeing, it was burned onto my brain forever. And then he looked up and saw me. As I shut my eyes (I ran out of that parking lot blindly) I saw him start to get up! Oh, my, god, anything but that.
Illinois is a crazy place. Tomorrow I ride four hours with Liz and Chris. They loaned me a bike, a helmet, and are bringing spare shorts in case I forgot those too. Here's hoping the worst thing we will see is roadkill.
PS. How glad are you that I don't carry my camera while running?
The race was two mile-long laps. I use the word mile loosely, as in, there is no freaking way that was just two miles. It had better have been long, or else I quit. It was a nice little race and it was fun to see Jen H, Liz & Chris. Jen is the only one in this picture whose smile is genuine, because she's the only one looking forward to swimming. Liz and I are smiling through our dread. Contrary to what Liz says on her blog, I was not trying to talk people out of swimming. I was merely suggesting other options. Like fun things we could do.
The scarring came later in the day. I went out to run at 6 pm at a park in Yorkville that my mom recommended. Nice wide, smooth trails.. perfect for my first double-digits run in months. I made my way along the shore of some river for the first 20 minutes. Let me stop here to say that I am not all that into porn. And were I into porn, I would probably not be into outside in broad daylight on the asphalt buck naked white skin everywhere morbid obesity porn. But today, it seems, was not my lucky day. I came out of the woods and there it was. Ten feet in front of me. At least 600 pounds of naked human doing it in the parking lot. On the asphalt. Children were fishing 100 yards back, just around the bend. In the split second that my eyes were open and I was realizing what it was I was seeing, it was burned onto my brain forever. And then he looked up and saw me. As I shut my eyes (I ran out of that parking lot blindly) I saw him start to get up! Oh, my, god, anything but that.
Illinois is a crazy place. Tomorrow I ride four hours with Liz and Chris. They loaned me a bike, a helmet, and are bringing spare shorts in case I forgot those too. Here's hoping the worst thing we will see is roadkill.
PS. How glad are you that I don't carry my camera while running?
Eewwwwwwwww! Good luck getting that out of your head.
ReplyDeleteOh, I did not even hear you coming... should have said something. Those Chicago sausages sure can add some pounds, but I should be able to burn them off soon.
ReplyDeleteHow about using a larger font...I had to squint the entire time. Hope the ride went well.
Roger
ha ha ha ha hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI hope you carry pepper spray with you on your runs, a cell phone with a GPS tracker, and, sadly to say, maybe a bullet-proof vest. The woods in some of those locations are not always nice for young, attractive women to be running around on their own.
ReplyDeleteOH yeah, my sister lives in Yorkville and I FORGOT to mention that park has a little reputation! Oh boy. That pic of us is hilarious - I mean...looks just like those pics you and Bree post from Hawaii on the beaches off the Pacific. Not. Jen H. :)
ReplyDeletePS I successfully lifted this pic of us and put it on my blog! YEAH! Jen H.
ReplyDeleteBe especially careful when running through parks known for "birdwatching" in the Chicago area. They are really well known for their, ummm, "birdwatching."
ReplyDeleteI hope the shorts they lent you weren't the ones Chris wore at Eagleman....
ReplyDeleteI take it the swim went well since you survived to run. There's one thing to be said for copulating strangers--they give you lots to think about other than "So does the knee hurt?"
Now THAT is funny... gross, but hilarious! Miss ya girl... back from the dead and enjoyed catching up on your blog.
ReplyDeletehee hee hee - hilarious! Have a blast in Chicago!!! Watch out for those Corn Bears, or whatever they're called. :O)
ReplyDelete