The thin line between quirky and crazy.

Well, the cocktail wasn't that fun. But I lost 6 pounds in two days, so if I were on the biggest loser instead of in the biggest migraine, I would have been super stoked. My blood pressure was so low while cocktailing that I had to squat down and put my head between my knees every time I tried to stand up, which looks funny when you're at work and you're wearing a dress. And no one knows you're on medication, you're just the quirky new girl.

The cocktail also didn't change anything. I woke up and tried to be positive, to tell myself I could see perfectly and it was all over.. ok, now it's all over.. ok, now! But it wasn't meant to be.

I checked in with the neuro today. She ordered me into the tube of death. Every time I go in there they play the Curious George soundtrack. Is Jack the official music of MRI? Or is it just because every time I go anywhere in this state they play Jack? I put a pillow over my eyes before they caged my head so that I couldn't accidentally open my eyes. Panic attack! Panic attack! Whew. 25 minutes later it was official: I didn't have a stroke.

Then I hit the needle shop. I seriously lose my shit when it comes to needles. It's not a pain thing, it's a gross thing. Metal things should not be in my veins! The nurses get all excited about my big nasty man-veins, then blow them out one by one while I hyperventilate. I am not above biting. I didn't have babies without drugs to experience the joy of birth. I had babies without drugs because drugs require needles. I spent 6h in the hospital while drugs were delayed because they thought I was dying. If your heart rate is under 40 at Kaiser, you need a pacemaker. My normal blood pressure of 98/40 was not making anyone happy either. They poured bags of saline into me, and my blood pressure still made the alarms go off. I felt fine. But now I kind of wonder what my bp was when I was falling over in my office - 40/11?

After my string of performances today at Kaiser they sent me home with valium. Apparently someone thinks I'm a little high strung. I actually feel better.. I am not 100%, but I've exhausted the medical treatment for fixing a prolonged migraine. The neuro has got nothing for me and the pain is gone, all that remains is funky vision. So now it's mine to get rid of, and I know my brain isn't about to explode or anything..

I started with 7 miles in 49 minutes. Turns out 11 days off is good for something! It was a nose-breather and the legs were ready to run. I'm pretty sure swimming and biking aren't good for migraines though.

Tomorrow Ramsey turns 109. For his birthday I gave him 7 hours in the hospital and good odds of picking up MRSA. Happy birthday, honey!