I can't see out of my left eye. Saturday morning, as I was finishing my hour ride, I got the aura of impending doom. A swirling blind spot in my left eye meant a migraine was coming. And I haven't had one in seven years.. since Wyatt was born. I always thought that the kid cured me of those god awful events that showed up every month or two, blinding me for a day and then leaving me achy for days.
Usually the poor vision lasts an hour, with swirling lights that make be puke, and awful visions of only half of my kids' faces as they ask me if I'm OK. But this one is different. It has been 36 hours. I've been drugged, have slept more than 18 hours, and finally admitted, IV'd up with anti-migraine drugs and saline, and when those didn't work, sent home with a referral to a neurologist. What a lovely freaking weekend. I still can't see. The pain is manageable. The inability to see is not. The fear I lived in when these were a part of my life was all-consuming. And apparently, it's not over.
My husband wasted a day he needed to spend studying sitting with me in the ER, keeping me from panicking about the gross thing in my vein. My friends watched my kids. My mom offered to help with COBRA - since my insurance ended on Friday, of course. Even though I feel like I have the worst luck ever right now, I know that I am lucky.
My husband wasted a day he needed to spend studying sitting with me in the ER, keeping me from panicking about the gross thing in my vein. My friends watched my kids. My mom offered to help with COBRA - since my insurance ended on Friday, of course. Even though I feel like I have the worst luck ever right now, I know that I am lucky.
Tomorrow I start my new job. Good thing I was planning on taking the bus, because I can't drive. Looking at a computer screen stinks, but I am going to have to fake it. In a week I'm supposed to be running a marathon - one that I'm so excited about! What if I still can't see?
I had started a long post about next year and triathlon, and all this over-thinking I was doing about it. And then it all got put into perspective by my health. Who cares, really, what races I do, what plan I follow, what my dumb hair looks like.. I just want my vision back.
Just to prove that I haven't lost all sense of humor, here is a picture of Wyatt on Halloween. I adore him, but think it's important to note:1. That he uses his clone trooper costume as a bib.
2. That he carries a lululemon shopper like he was born to do it.
3. The glow in the dark glasses.
4. That a kid who refuses to wear underwear + a too small white unitard = too much information.
Wow. I hope you get your vision back soon and they figure out what is going on. Sounds terrifying. And that unitard - hysterical.
ReplyDeleteOh I'm sorry about the headache! That sounds awful. And of course it would happen as soon as your health insurance ends. Mine also ended at the end of September... just in time for me to give birth. So I'm also using Cobra.
ReplyDeleteHope everythihng resolves itself for you soon!
=too much information..absoloooootely hilarious.
ReplyDeletefeel better. sending double wishes from blogger AND faceboook.
Hey Rachel, can totally relate. Thought I was going to go through another bout with IBS last weekend and it just went away after 3 days so hoping the same goes for you with the migraine...the planets must be aligned funny or something because it seems like everyone is getting weird illnesses. Keep on truckin'.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the headache! after having my first migraine this year, I really do feel for you. Good luck at work this week!
ReplyDeleteI have $40 for you and your goggles I think (pink kids ones?) are you swimming on Tues?
Jeez, lady. You and I are quite the pair this week. I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you. Crap, crap, crap. I'm cringing thinking about a horrible headache as I just feel like I'm getting my head out of the vice it's been in for the last week. Whenever it feels like things aren't right in the noggin' it's just plain scary. Hang in there... I'll be thinking about you.
ReplyDeleteWoah - that sucks! If you're over the worst part of the migraine and are "only" blind by next week you can still run though... I got passed by a pair of runners holding hands in a race once. Because I was in San Francisco I just thought it was cute... It wasn't until later that someone told me it was a blind guy and his seeing-eye-runner! :p
ReplyDeletei was trying to think of a really good way to say I hope you feel better! Bad migraines like that are so insane, I'm sorry. thank god for COBRA.
ReplyDeleteOMG! That Lululemon bag made me laugh. Every second person here has one... drives me CRAZY!
ReplyDeleteTake it easy lady.
Sorry to hear about the migraine! You get them big time it sounds like when they do come around. Feel better.
ReplyDeleteRachel:
ReplyDeleteYou must really be a most wonderful mom, because in the midst of all of your pain and worry, you have not lost your sense of humor. I hope you are back together soon.
BTW, I wonder if Mary Eggers little boy has considered using the same shopping bag for trick or treat. PCB would never be the same!
Good luck with the new job! Migraines suck. I used to get them about 12 times a year. (Yeah, monthly.) And I'd be out of commission for 2-3 days. I started taking Imitrex this year and it's made a HUGE difference. I still get them, but I can nip them in the bud before they get out of control.
ReplyDeleteI like your kids, just send Wyatt to Florida, everyone here raced in see-through clothes, I even ran 26.2 miles in a white sportsbra- it was the most cheers I ever got!
ReplyDeleteRach... all the best to you, for healing that eye, enjoying your new job, and a SPEEDY marathon.
hope you have regained your sight by now! the picture of wyatt is hilarious....one day he'll thank you ;). the countdown is on to vegas baby - if that doesn't make you feel better, nothing will!!!! i'm still trying to figure out how to hide in amanda's bike box.
ReplyDeleteFell better Rachel. I'll be thinking of you this week - good luck with the new job and hope the health improves quickly!
ReplyDeleteHang in there and get better soon!! You've got a great support system over there.
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling better Rachel!! Sounds just awful. Hope it won't be much longer. And I hope your first day at your new job went well and that you could see! Amazing what we take for granted 'eh? Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteah Geez Rach, I hope you are feeling more chipper by tomorrow. That sucks.
ReplyDeleteeek. hope you get better fast..
ReplyDeleteRachel,
ReplyDeleteI will write fast and type big so it won't be so painful to read.
I get migraines as well and I experience the EXACT same thing with my vision. It's so friggin' frustrating because you cannot do anything about it other than deny what's happening...and that only works for a short bit.
The last migraine I got was at ITU Worlds. I thought it was because I had gone off caffeine for 3 days and thought it would go away as soon as I started taking it again...nope. lasted all fu#@ing summer. It wasn't a 'puke and scream' one. It was painful at first, and then was just a dull irritating pain for the next couple months. For some reason I don't think that's normal.
I will slow down my typing now since your eyes might be getting tired. Hope it helps.
One thing that did not seem to bother me was racing. I don't know if I did not experience the pain in my head, or if the rest of the pain throughout my body was just worse. Whatever the reason, didn't seem to bother me when I was racing. So maybe you will experience the same thing this weekend.
A lot of research says that migraines are stress induced... I think that's crap because what stress have you been under. You are a friggin' triathlete...the easy life. What stress have you been under in the last few months :)?
Missed you at BOUS. I don't think there was a female rep from Hawaii. Bruce, Chris, Cindi, and I had quite the time. Maybe next time.
Hope you are on the mend. And look at the bright side...when you race, you really don't have to think about anything. Kind of like a football player without time outs.
Rgeor
(just screwing with you)
oh ick, is right! I sure hope you feel better! I feel so bad for people like you that get these horrible migranes all the time. I Hope they figure out why! Jen H.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for a super speedy recovery!!
ReplyDeleteUgh, that just plain sucks. I hope the new job went okay. And I hope the neurologist might have some answers?
ReplyDeleteIn any case, you're a strong woman, and we all support you.
Very sorry to hear about the migraine and the temporary blindness. I have never had one but when the children were small I would frequently get dizzy spells and then vomit and feel terrible for at least the whole day. Don't feel bad about having to rely on family to help. There's no other choice. I could not do much to help my family when I was sitting in doctor's offices in hospitals (in the UK) thousands of miles from home (in Taiwan) as I wondered what the future held in store for me. Get rested and get treatment and you will be back to your normal self. Let others worry about the next paycheck.
ReplyDeleteOh Rach! I'm so sorry to hear about the eye! I hope it starts getting back to normal soon! I'm worried! Keep us posted and GO see the neurologist. Seriously, it's better to know than not know. I do hope the first day of the job went well and that it didn't kill your eye! I'll be thinking of you and praying it clears up!!
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better :( Good luck with the new job.
ReplyDeleteRR- get well soon!
ReplyDeleteAwww..I sure hope you are feeling better today, best of luck with the new job.
ReplyDeleteRACHEL! Was that too loud? I've got some good migraine stories, I've been there. I feel your pain. I liken it to a never-ending ice cream headache that is 1000 times more painful and intense. There's NO way I could go to work like that and stare at a computer. Once again, you are nuts.
ReplyDeleteHope to meet up soon....somewhere.
xo,
P.
ps-are you hypoglycemic? I have some thoughts.
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteDawn just told me what happened. I am so sorry that you are going through this:(.
I hope that you are feeling better soon and I hope that you get it all sorted! We will really miss you in Vegas:(.
Feel better!
xoAmanda Lovato
Dang, girl even with a migraine headache out the ASS you still have a killer sense of humor. Tomorrow is new day...hopefully that darn thing just vanishes.
ReplyDelete