Taste of Chocolate Goes Bad.

At the Four Seasons Wailea Friday morning, Tori Spelling's boobs were brunching, along with her kids, two nannies, and tattoo-guy, who I think was her husband. There is nothing low-pro about Ms. Spelling.

Post-brunch I needed to float around in reduced gravity for a while. I lugged my gut to the pool. Then I kind-of accosted Dax in the hot tub, but he was a nice guy. So there, a celeb photo for y'all.

Katherine and I were walking the beachfront path through Wailea when we saw a fit black man pretending to box up ahead. I made fun of him, because he was alone, on the run path, and fighting a ghost. And because I'm a little mean sometimes. He turned around and walked at us on the path, grinned and said Hi there. He was Eddie Murphy. We were cool, I swear. Until he was 10 feet away. Here's hoping he didn't see me making fun of him.

Tonight was the Taste of Chocolate, a party at the Four Seasons. It was all this incredible chocolate (every part of that sculpture is chocolate!) and chocolate martinis and film makers and movie stars and individual souffles and chocolate fountains.. 

It was all great and glamorous.. and then Katherine and I decided to walk home along the path between the Fairmont and the Four Seasons. It was after 1 am and very dark, but there were two of us, so we were safe, of course. We were looking at the Milky Way and lighting the pathway with Blackberries, when Katherine froze and started screaming. My instinct was to run from whatever was freaking her out, but she wouldn't move, even when I pulled on her. Because it seems that the hairy creature that was standing on both of her feet had her totally immobilized. We couldn't see it, but it was a big ass rat. After what seemed like a minute, she was free of the giant rat and I lost it. I was trying to drag her along by her little gucci bag, but I was laughing so hard at her that I was crying and I couldn't stand up.  She said maybe it was a mongoose. And I said, Yeah, because they're out at night. I laughed harder at her disgust.. and then tripped on a giant rat. Holy crap, it was so big it was on both of my feet at once. It was a solid eight-pounder, easy. It was ridiculously hairy and climbing all over my feet. 

It's hard to run from the rats in heels. But somehow we did it. They were scurrying in and out of the Naupaka bushes along the path and I was chanting Pretend it's kittens, pretend it's kittens, over and over. 

It's not all glamour and photo ops, people.