I stole Liz's sherpa. That's right, Liz. Read it and weep. Your Sherpa Thomas was running 400s with me Wednesday morning. Six of them. OK, four, but in my defense, it was raining or something.
I am sorry to report that 6 runs in 6 weeks, on the days which I was feeling good enough to run, have left me way, way out of shape. Yesterday's run scared me. Even with fun company, it hurt. I was going to photoshop my face on Liz's body in that pic, but I'm having photoshop problems.
And then last night, my body decided I was feeling too good (I hadn't needed to take a pain med in nearly 24 hours!) and I was hit with vertigo so bad I almost fell down. The start of round three. This one has ruined my vision to the point that I can't look at a computer screen for more than 10 or 20 seconds. So emails are unanswered, the blog will be temporarily abandoned, and the marathon unlikely to happen. I can't work. I'm here trying, but I think I'm going to have to go home. My body hates me. Life hates me.
I appreciate the well wishes, the sub-3 remarks (this is Honolulu, guys, the winner runs 2:06 elsewhere and 2:18 here! If ever I were to sub-3, it would not be here) and the ideas for getting out of this vicious cycle. Stress, yeah, but I've dropped all that I can. Not working is not an option. I'm signed up for zero races next year and am not adding training to my stress. I need someone to pay me a salary to do nothing, so that I can see again and support my family. Wouldn't that be nice?
I SO regret that there is no light at the end of the tunnel yet for you... yet.
ReplyDeleteVertigo is EVIL, EVIL, EVIL. Private carnival rides in your head sounds fun at first (reminiscent of college drinking days), but the reality SUUUUUCKS.
Sending a hug your way. Wish there was something I could do to help.
I'm thinking of you RR - the House Monster and Mini Monster are as well.. Sometimes a cuddly friend helps. Even if they are of the attacking kind... hang in there and I'm sending BIG HUGS your way.
ReplyDeleteHi R - I'm sure you are looking into this medically; I hope you find the root cause.
ReplyDeleteI wish you a speedy return to great health.
Bob
I hope you feel better soon, I'm so sorry that it looks like your marathon might not happen, I know you were really excited about it. Wish I could do something to make it all back to normal health for you!!
ReplyDeleteI am a frequent lurker on your blog and just wanted to add my sympathies. Not having an answer or a plan when there is something wrong, physically, is horribly frustrating.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get to the bottom of what's going on and start feeling better very soon.
Hugo sends his well wishes and get-better-soon barks and whimpers. Don't worry about the marathon, your health comes first. There will always be another one...
ReplyDeleteAw man...I'm so sorry to hear this. That is one bitch of a migraine. I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you...and for this bs to pass. (and I have bunions and soon enough my toes will be crossed for everyone, all the time) :)
ReplyDeletehey i'm sure you've overturned every stone...but hormones play a huge roll in my mom's migraines and mine. don't know about you but worth commenting...? feel better soon!
I have been thinking about you. I can't imagine what it must be like to be a living medical mystery. I hope things turn around quickly.
ReplyDeleteReally sorry to hear about the migraine worsening. Especially that you won't be able to blog! I'm so addicted! :-P But, I understand, too much computer time gives me daily headaches, and my living is dependant on the computer. I can't see quitting as option either. I've decided the healthiest job in the world would be organic farming. That would be the best.
ReplyDeleteHave a great and relaxing Christmas with your family!
Man RR. Life has been throwing some curve balls at your lately and I want to say that I am thinking of you and will be praying things heal with the eye. I know it seems so awful right now, like you can't even see the light at the end of the tunnel, but with any luck, and a little help from unseen forces, you are going to be in a place someday where you are so thankful you made it through this. I promise...and that is big. I don't promise unless I mean it. So, just do what you can. Keep the stress as low as possiable (I mean come on - it's the holidays.. low stress ha!) & hang in there! We are all rooting for you!
ReplyDeleteHi RR,
ReplyDeleteHard as it is, sometimes "letting go" is the only thing left to "do."
I wish you lots of luck and will be keeping you in prayers and well wishes. I hope that sometime..soon...you will look back and say "Crap, remember when...i was blind and ran intervals..and worked and..kept my family intact.."
And you can laugh at it, get the cringe like shivers, and then get back to your day. (which WILL have more marathon training in it!)
Julia
PS and dont worry about blog and blog readers and emails and all that. Take care of you...let the other stuff go for now.
Hope you feel better soon. If HNL doesn't happen there's a new one on Maui in a month... I'm considering running the 1/2.
ReplyDeleteAnd I still say acupuncture, even though you have a fear of needles. Maybe you'll be so freaked out over the needles what ever else is wrong will just go away.
If you need anything give me a call.
The gentleman without the shirt looks like a nice person. I can see why you were chasing him around a track.
ReplyDeletea few things here (if you can see)
ReplyDelete1) i can't believe the evil head demons are back in full force. rach- i'm so sorry!!! i was so looking forward to having pictures of my tall skinny hot fast twin in the lulus and geek socks!!!
2) vegas sub 3 next year- maybe if you would chat w/ me for a whole marathon i would go for #2. and THAT is a serious PR course.
3) i just read your last post (w/ sky watching us....)..anyhow. i feel special to be on your blog and
4) the smoking thing....hmmm..james wanted to break up with me on sunday when i got drunk and kept telling him i wanted to bum a cigarette and i love smoking. i'll never hate cigarettes. maybe being an ex-smoker is the key to marathon lungs :). gross. just kidding. sort of.
Rachel Ross...
ReplyDeleteI HOPE and PRAY you some how get a miracle really quick with this junk... I am so incredible sorry about all the pressures you have happening.
You are still hanging tuff and for that you hopefully are getting closer to the end of this head,eye, vision, head ache thing!
NO WORRIES about that marathon... none at all. Run, walk, skip, stop, go, do whatever you feel like and if it goes well AWESOME!
If there is anything you need from Florida let me know... I am in your old neck of the woods!
OH MAN, RR....come on, enough already, you paid your dues and it is time for you to feel better!!! UGH.
ReplyDeleteTRY to enjoy that marathon!
Sherpa Thomas is a nice guy, glad you had fun!!!!
Hey Rachel, the tone of this blog entry is much different. Man, you so need a break right now, it's the holidays, now is a great time for a miracle. I was going to spend $159 on a Garmin watch this weekend, but it's yours if you need it, just shove your pride aside, designate yourself as an institution, apply for non-profit status and start collecting donations. Let me know where to send it. And if you can't read this, have one of the kiddies practice their reading skills and have them read it to you, I kept the words really simple.
ReplyDeleteIf money becomes an issue, you have many friends and so if everyone were to help out only a little it might make a big difference. Please designate trusted friends (for instance, the leader of your cycling/training club on Oahu or whatever) so that anyone wishing to donate could do so through them. Years ago when I was seriously ill, my colleagues at work actually contributed the money which paid for the air ticket to get me back from Taiwan to the UK. We have all been helped at times in the past, and maybe it is our turn to help someone else.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I'm not your mother. I worry about you too much as it is.
ReplyDeletegeez lady, I don't even know what to say. I was going to lecture you about lowering your stress level and then you nipped that in the bud before I finished reading your post. dang it.
sigh. Have you tried staples?
xo,
P.
If you need to take a break from blogging do it. We will all still be here when you feel up to it. Just remember that if you need support or encouraging words you know where to find them.
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the best!
:( Here's hoping you catch a break out there on the island. One step at a time you'll find your footing again. Trust your body and your mind and trust others to help you. {{RR}}
ReplyDeleteAh - Rach - so sorry about this for you. I just sent you a FB msg without reading this blog....Hope this goes away soon. Not fair!!! I wish I knew of something that would take this away for you.
ReplyDeleteRachel, I'm so sorry..
ReplyDeleteas far as getting paid during recovery, have you/Ramsey checked into the Temporary Disability Insurance ? I think not being able to stand up, qualifies.. ask the HR dept..
http://hawaii.gov/labor/dcd/abouttdi.shtml
Oh Rachel, I am sooooooo so sorry. If there is any way any of us can help, please let us know. I want this to go away for you so badly. I want you to feel better (I know YOU want you to feel better the most) and I'm just praying that your brain finds some peace soon...
ReplyDelete:( Big hugs. Please don't be afraid to ask for help from all of us in blog land...we care so much!!
AND if what you need is break from blogging/computer, then take a break, woman!!
I keep hoping I'll come here to read about your awesome recovery. It's coming, I just know it. :o)
ReplyDeleteOh Rachel, I can not even imagine what you are going through. I am sending good energy and lots of prayers your way.
ReplyDeleteBe well, my friend...
I SO would pay you to do nothing if I could. I hope things start to turn the corner for you soon.
ReplyDelete