ov-er-whel-med-ness

I woke up with a nyquil hangover Monday morning and promptly stabbed myself in the blurry eye with the mascara wand (DuWop Lash Venom, girls, it rocks. And no, they don't sponsor me, I know you're all thinking I only talk up stuff I get for free and that is so not true. I'm offended.) It was an appropriate start to a week that has continued on in that direction. Give me five four-dollar martinis at Indigo happy hour on a friday night and I'll wake up bright-eyed and ready to ride 50 miles.. but a half dose of nyquil and I wake up ruined. Or maybe it's just the cold. Or the over-whel-med-ness (I think it's important to say all the syllables in that word.)

I had a sore throat during the 5k and was wheezy, but you know, 5ks are hard, so I didn't think much of it during the race. Not 20 min after finishing, I started to hack. Thanks to years of scuba diving, and sometimes doing gross things like puking through my regulator at 110 feet, I was able to cough without breaking my rhythm during the post-race swim, but by Sat night, I was ruined. I am a snot factory. My lungs hurt and I sound like Carly Simon, but not in a good way. More in a Priscilla Queen of the Desert way.

Sky brought home this card for mother's day. They're practicing typing at school. Her teacher edited it:

It's adorable, but it's also full of lies. I did not, in fact, have my first child at age 11, which would have been required for me to be 21 today. But it was nice of her to imply that I was a pre-teen slut. I don't like purple much at all, as it reminds me of bruises and eggplants, two things I don't really like, and I know for a fact that she doesn't really think I'm prite. How do I know? Because in the past week she has told me two things: You have a mustache and When you sit like that, your tummy is all fat. To the latter I replied: That's skin! Maybe if I had stopped after two kids... but I don't think my sweet innocent little third child picked up on my hint. No one gives it to you straight like a five year old.

I just noticed that Sky is featured sacrificing babies on Kaui's blog today. If you're looking for a good read, Kaui pretty much always makes me spit coffee on my keyboard..